Today, I did not feel victorious.
And it sure wasn’t for lack of trying. After 22 years of headbands and bows and other doable hair accessories, I decided I was going to learn how to put my hair in a ponytail. Unlike most things in my life, I have avoided this challenge because quite frankly, it’s just really hard, and having my hair down is easy. But today I decided to join the ponytail club. I looked up some youtube videos of how to put your hair up with one hand, and proceeded to attempt to replicate their handy tricks…to no avail.
I don’t know how many times I tried or how many hours I spent trying to master this simple exercise. I envisioned my hair piled atop my head. I planned my Instagram caption. I did not put my hair in a pony tail today. I got really tired and decided to call it a day. Not surprisingly, I was pretty disappointed. I’m not used to not being able to do things, and today I felt like I was three again, facing the monsters that were shoe laces. I felt small and weak compared my task.
And even though I didn’t succeed today, it doesn’t mean I failed.
This is an important lesson to learn. How many times do we commence a project with hopes higher than Georgia pines, and when we are not successful on the first attempt or the second or the 45th, we label our endeavor a failure, decide it “wasn’t God,” and move on?
There is glory in travail! There is such pride in persistence. The enemy would love for us to jump into the mindset of failure so quickly, instead of us sticking it out until one day we do get it. I struggle in so many areas of my life with wanting immediate relief or victory or satisfaction, and so often I forget the beauty of farming. Of going out every day and watering the fields when it doesn’t look like the vegetables are growing, when they are merely seeds.
I refuse to pass up the beauty of this day, and the quiet whispers of a Savior who is only found in the quiet of my persistance. Nothing truly good ever comes easily, so tomorrow I will pick up my brush once more and I will attempt to put my hair in a ponytail. Maybe I will succeed tomorrow, but maybe I won’t. If I don’t, it doesn’t mean I’m a failure, it just means this field is going to take a little longer to harvest.
I’m willing to stick it out.
Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. 13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 15 Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. 16 Only let us hold true to what we have attained.–Philippians 3
Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord! -Psalm 27:14