If You Are Discouraged (Like me)

Sometimes, I say crazy things like “God, I surrender my life to you. I give you my job, my future, my feelings, everything. I’m yours. Send me wherever you want me to go.”

And then God responds and it’s usually not what i thought He would say at all. I love the idea of doing hard things, taking on a challenge and being triumphant. Most things in my life have been difficult to master, and I have delighted in surprising and confounding people who dared to believe I  couldn’t.

But recently  the hard thing God has asked me to do is not going well. I’m not surprising anyone with my expertise, I’m not enjoying the surge of victory from accomplishing the impossible. I just feel like a failure. I’m out of my comfort zone, I don’t enjoy the task I have been given, and every day is a new opportunity to find out how very ill equipped I am. My usual sunny disposition is constantly put to the test as I wade through responsibilities that are far beyond my pay grade. Lord, why don’t you to send me to Honduras?? Why can’t I teach little kids? I’m good at that. Why can’t you at least give me a job I’m good at here?  

However, I’m beginning go realize God doesn’t always ask us to do what we are good at. We wouldn’t need him if we could handle it all on our own. I’ve been enamored with personality tests lately, They tell me of my strengths and weaknesses and the best job for me. I am not doing the job my personality type tells me is best for me. But maybe I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. Maybe (hopefully) I won’t be here forever, but most assuredly, I wont be prepared for the next thing unless I am faithful here and now in the things that maybe I don’t enjoy. Maybe God wants to teach me how to be obedient when  it’s out of my comfort zone.

Maybe surrendering to God is about becoming like a child, where we have to depend on him for everything. Maybe the most unfamiliar place is the best place to be because He’s the only face we recognize amid all the confusion and uncertainty. And maybe if we lean in to him, he will give us a love for where we we are that goes beyond our circumstances and right to the heart of who he’s helping us to become.

letters1

Are you out of your element? Overwhelmed? feeling ill-equipped? Feeling useless? Maybe you should check your mailbox, you might have an invitation to trust God  on a deeper level than ever before, knowing that his ways are higher than ours, and his love for us is what drives his every move.

I need Thee, oh, I need Thee
Every hour I need Thee
Oh, bless me now, my Savior
I come to Thee

I need Thee every hour
Most gracious Lord
No tender voice like Thine
Can peace afford

I need Thee, oh, I need Thee
Every hour I need Thee
Oh, bless me now, my Savior
I come to Thee

I need Thee, oh, I need Thee
Every hour I need Thee
Oh, bless me now, my Savior
I come to Thee

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