What a month. This has become a monthly update of sorts, so where shall I begin??
I guess by saying, re-saying, and shouting at the top of my lungs–LIFE DOES NOT GO THE WAY WE PLAN.
This is my new mantra. It’s what I find myself saying all the time, as plans fall through and relationships die, and dreams get in their car and drive away. Life is not always fair.
We can plan and strategize and hope against all hope, but the Bible clearly and annoyingly states that man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. Why you always gotta be directing my steps, Lord??
I love God, but I really love my plans. I love control. I love not leaving anything to chance. I love crisis and failure prevention. I love being safe. Anyone with me on that?
Life is good. I’m working with my mom. Spending time with friends and family, traveling, working out regularly. There is no cause for complaint. But I don’t know where it’s all headed because the thing I want the most I can’t go to the store and buy.
I love traveling and I’m seriously looking into some longer term opportunities, but I want something I can’t make happen. I want a family, and when you are a girl, you grow up and are taught to want that above all else, and don’t get me wrong, I DO. But when it’s not here yet, where is my identity? Where do we find meaning when we weren’t really trying to build a career but we also don’t want to be bumps on logs and really truly pathetic women, sitting around waiting for the ONE.
I don’t believe God intends for young women to feel useless without a husband and kids, but it’s truly difficult to sink your teeth into any long term project when you are literally banking the rest of your life on someone else.
Getting hungry does not put dinner on the table. Wanting something does not make it happen. In a society where we get everything immediately, waiting well has become a lost art.
How do you wait well? I’m asking myself this as I write, not fully knowing the answer. I suppose you get busy, like Ruth. You surrender like Esther, you serve like Mary, you work like Lydia, you pray like Hannah, you believe like Sarah. You live well. You pursue the things you love, and above all else, you believe God in heaven loves you and is writing a good story for you. This time of waiting has not taken him by storm. His timeline is going just as it should. Your job, and my job, sweet friends, is to trust. Trust that He is good. He is faithful. He longs to draw near to you. He is building something in you right now He couldn’t build any other way.
But truly, hunger does not produce a meal.
Are you trying to grow your church? Your business? Your family? Your engagement ring collection? Your relationship with God?
Do you want something desperately and you are asking God why it’s not happening? You are scouring your life for secret sins and hindrances and everything’s coming up roses?
Here’s a thought. Be faithful. Start preparing the fields for rain. Start getting the ingredients together. Dig deeper into God than you ever have before. Seek his face, not because he’s Santa Claus and you’ve got a wish list, but because he loves you and he is worthy of your affections. Love him because he loves you with an everlasting love and he loves to be with you.
And see what happens. Don’t ask me, I don’t know. But it’s gotta be good. 🙂
My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
Your face, Lord, I will seek. –Psalm 27:8