I wish I was better at writing when things are hard. Ernest Hemingway says we need to write long and hard about what hurts, but I would rather write about sunny days, bright moments and exciting adventures.
So, the apparent lack of blog posts lately may well be a hint that times have been tough.
For the past several months, I have been given an unlimited amount of opportunities to wake up and trust God.
I think I thought I trusted God, but I think what I was really doing was trusting that he would work through me, use me, make me the hero.
And I am not the hero.
Everything I have touched has turned to flames this year. All my good intentions have blown up in my face. My desire to control circumstances has resulted in so many situations totally beyond my control.
Do you ever look back at your life, and get angry with God because you literally tried to do everything right and things still went terribly wrong?
Yeah, me too.
But you know, I wouldn’t trade this season for the world. I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me upon the rock of ages, as Charles Spurgeon said. I have learned I am not a good controller, but God is.
I have learned people will disappoint me, but Jesus will never disappoint me. I have learned things fall apart sometimes but that doesn’t always mean it’s my fault. I have learned to stop saying never, because some of the best gifts we could ever receive come in the most unexpected ways.
I have learned to embrace trials and count it all joy as James encourages, because whoever learned anything on a sunny day?
If you have been going through it, count it all Joy. You are growing! You are moving forward. You are becoming a better person. As you wake up every day and fall to the arms of Jesus, you are becoming stronger. I don’t like the verse that talks about how his power is made perfect in weakness, because I don’t like to be weak. But I’m learning to be okay with it.
It’s OK to be weak as long as we know who’s holding us up.
So, here’s an invitation. Embrace uncertainty, embrace mystery, give up control, and do not grow weary in well doing! He is writing a good story.